Last week we talked about how to achieve your goals and set yourself up to go after the life that you want. But what do you do when you have too many goals or other opportunities coming your way? Which goals should you prioritize and what opportunities should you say no to?

An easy way to help you make these decisions is when you have determined what it is that you value. Your core values are principles that you find desirable, important or even essential. An alignment between your professional life and your core values produces satisfaction, a sense of happiness and fulfillment.

Why should you make an effort to understand and align your values with your career? Your values give you a sense of purpose and are guides to what fits you best. If you are working in a place that is not a good match for your values, you may be experiencing a variety of negative symptoms. You might feel a general sense of discomfort or a lack of connection with your situation. Feeling a lack of motivation and constantly wanting to take a day off are other indicators that there could be a mismatch. On the extreme end, a misalignment between your career and your values could make you completely miserable, trigger depression or even cause you to develop a physical ailment.

The first step is to throw out that list of what you SHOULD value

Can you list out 5-10 things you value? Don’t worry if you can’t do this without a bit of thinking and discovery. An easier list to come up with is what OTHERS think you should value. Things society, culture, and the media value doesn’t have to go on your list. If some of the things overlap, that’s okay, but the point here is to take the ones off your list that don’t actually resonate with you. This list is for you and your life. We want you to live your life on your terms and the way you want to live it, not how other people think you should live.

Look back

Think back to major moments in your life. When were you feeling your best, your most proud, your most energized? What was going on in that moment? What values were you honouring at that time?

Some examples:

  • Was it intellectually stimulating? –> you value intellectual challenges
  • Were you learning something new? –> you value lifelong learning or learning new things
  • Were you surrounded by people with similar interests? –> you value deep connections and friendship

Now, think back to a bad moment in your life. This one might actually be easier for you to remember since we’ve all spent that last 5+ months in a pandemic, but try to pull from both good and bad moments. What was happening when you were feeling low, stressed, frustrated, angry? What values weren’t being honoured?

Some examples:

  • Negative – working alone –> you value working with a team or personal contact with others
  • Negative – unpredictable situation –> you value predictability
  • Negative – stuck at home –> you value variety, a change of scenery or varying daily tasks

Narrow it down

Take as much time to come up with your list of values. Don’t worry about it being too long because we are going group them to make it more manageable.

Group the values into related themes. Connection, intimacy, and belonging values all go into that bucket. Growth and development also go into the same bucket and so on.

Still having trouble narrowing down your list? The magic number for your list is anywhere from 5 and 10. Too many, not great for being actionable. Too few, not enough to capture your unique dimensions of being. You can answer these three questions to help narrow it down.

  • What values are essential to your life?
  • What values represent your primary way of being?
  • What values are essential to supporting your inner self?

Find the core themes

Now that you’ve got your groups, pull out those core themes. One word that best encompasses the group. Take that singular word – that is your value. Use the rest of the words or phrases in that group to put together a statement that gives it more context and find the meaning behind each value. Each person will have a unique list of values but we can also have a lot of overlap. However, how you interpret a word could be very different from what I interpret it as and it can evoke very different emotions in both of us. Use emotion provoking and inspiring words to make your value statements more rich and meaningful for you.

Prioritize

  • How do they make you feel?
  • Are they consistent with who you are?
  • Are they personal to you?
  • Do you see any values that feel inconsistent with your identity (as if they belong to someone else, like an authority figure or society) and not you? Remember to take out any “should be” valued ones if they’ve made it this far
  • Check your priority ranking. Do you feel like your values are in the proper order of importance?

Sleep on them and come back to them and go through the questions again. They also aren’t set in stone. If something has changed, go in and reevaluate!

Now that you’ve curated your list of values that are most important to you, let them guide you in your decisions. When you don’t know what opportunity to take or which decision is the right one, consult the list and choose the one that is most inline with your core values. If neither fits, it’s time to find an option C.

Have you made your list? Share it with us in the comments or on Instagram @thetecheffect.