Many people desire growth in their life.
Many people can think of one area in their life where they would like to grow.
Many people have set out specific goals that relate to their area(s) of growth.
But how many people are actively working on those goals to achieve their growth?
Why you aren’t working on your goals
Many people get stuck in ‘set out my goals stage’ that they don’t get to the actively working on phase.
I’ve often wondered why is it that we set out a specific goal that we desire so much and then grow increasingly frustrated and discouraged when we don’t’ follow through with it. Many people will say it’s lack of motivation or dedication and maybe that’s true in some circumstances, but why do some of us have that dedication, drive, discipline, focus and others don’t?
Let’s dig a little deeper into this
In Brené Brown’s book Rising Strong, she unpacks a profound truth about the stories we tell ourselves. She explains that anytime we are emotionally triggered with feelings of threat, anxiety, fear or feelings of being attacked our brain says, “I can protect you let me give you a story”.
Our brains are constantly assessing what’s good, bad, dangerous and safe. The stories created in our brains about situations that cause these feelings are there to protect us. However, those stories are a mixed of facts, knowledge, past experiences but most importantly, our stories we make up exaggerate our biggest fears, shame and insecurities.
Essentially the stories we are telling ourselves can prevent us from actively working towards goals that we desire so desperately to achieve.
Because of this, it’s so important that we are checking the stories we tell ourselves and exploring to see what they are telling us.
Stop the story and pull apart what’s factual and what’s not.
Its a thought process that requires us to be aware of our thinking patterns, thoughts and why we think them in order to change any that aren’t factual or aren’t serving us in a healthy way.
Our non-factual thoughts can serve great purpose in revealing to us areas in ourselves that require attention and most likely the areas that we should work on.
It’s important to ask, “why would I assign that thought to this situation”. This process is essential to personal growth. It will reveal things about yourself that require nurturing, care and attention.
If neglected, you will continue to create false beliefs about situations and possibly grow frustrated with being in the same position all the time.
Where to start
- Check in with your thoughts
- Get curious about why you are having those thoughts
- Don’t be afraid to face what lies behind the ‘why’; that’s where new perspective and growth happens
- Ask yourself what’s driving that perception? Is it experience? Past trauma? Triggers? Emotion? Misunderstanding?
- Do you have all the facts?
- Separate fact from fiction
If we don’t understand ourselves and stay committed to that process, how can we truly grow and live authentic lives?
Let’s all start examining our thoughts a little more closely so that we can change any self defeating thinking to a narrative of success, hope and optimism.
So I will end by asking you,
Do you desire growth in your life?
Can you think of one area in your life where you would like to grow?
Have you set out specific goals that relate to your area(s) of growth?
Are you actively working on those goals to achieve growth?
Why or Why not? And what are you going to do about it?